Posted by: Aya Thorgren | February 23, 2017

Evil Family, Stress Management and Behavior

I read a funny post where the Swedish teachers were asking the parents to take charge of teaching them the basics in life, like not chew with your mouth open, spit on the floors and not push this work onto the teachers that are busy enough educating matters. Then I heard about someone that when he goes to see his family, he needs to get heroin first, and only then, just to handle the incessant attacks, followed by a story about this woman that became a huge star and then got into addictions, got out of it, her career was at the top again, she felt great and she decides to go and visit her family for Christmas and suicides right after that.

I myself, for example have parents that will say it straight to my face that I am nothing worth in their eyes and use anything I say against me instead of being on my side, and you can count on it, they are straight up evil on huge ego trips and verbally and physically abusive and then they wonder why I am sometimes nervous and cry and spend days in deep depressions after I see them…? The energy at those moments can only be compared to war, it’s like a constant, intense negative vibe thrown directly at you with words that attack every part of your body and into the depth of your soul, you are on alert to escape as if in danger and it’s difficult to focus, since they cut you off the entire time, it’s like being shot at with energy. It’s a delicate constant game of instilling trust and then attack which only works since they are family members because with others you can just cut off and never see them again but certain family members seem to haunt you no matter where you are, so I remember thinking as a child that parents must have children only to have someone to be cynical with, it was like they were teasing me. There was something sneaky and evil about it. SKADEGLADJE. My father additionally always used to tell me that I would have no power to decide anything in my life, he even sold the family piano to ensure there would be no artistic joy, breaking my heart and would despotically decide over and try to control every step until I would make my own money, which was the sign; -When you make your own money you can decide over your life. So the moment I could I left everything and went to do just that. And there was no way I was going to fail. Failing was just not an option. Both of them have manipulated me economically and left huge emotional scars and a great mistrust. They thrive off drama and brutal hatred. Then I read about chronic pain and its relation to unresolved emotions where you are holding back feelings you may not want to admit to yourself, sadness because you don,t want to show it to anyone maybe because envious people will enjoy it too much and even smile in your face, in fact you may be worried to show vulnerability because you are sure that people will use it against you, and think you are weak and just because of that you may even meet more and more people that do just that, so when you once show your vulnerability and someone does turn it against you, your reaction will be to take it out on yourself in self-hatred for having trusted or on someone else and most good hearted people hold it all in and self- destruct.

Only in a place you feel safe will you open up and let go of all this and break that chain.

To me, I had my own children to create a new, happy family, and try to stick to the positive extended trustworthy family group who were around when my sons were small, where we have worked together and collaborated with one another perfectly and especially since the fathers of my sons later on tried to manipulate me and control every aspect of my life through my sons and making every moment of peace hell if they could, and do everything they could to separate us, I support my children emotionally in everything, love them always, no matter what and have guided them as much as I could so that they would be able make their own decisions since early, analyze problems and solutions, how to do things well, to treat people with respect, to follow their dreams no matter what and circumstances made them very humble and kind beings that have gone through a lot and that I love and admire with all of my heart. Everything I own and worked for is for my children and the place I chose carefully, so that they may live a healthy life in peace and enjoy their lives and not be tortured by it.
Family should be your 24/7 safety network that you can always fall back on, not your daily enemies. There are enough of those in the outside.

All this made me think that to understand this anger, stress, the need of medication, addictions and misbehavior in children; look at the family situation, how are the parents really, how is or was their childhood? Only too many weak people lash out their stress and endless frustrations on vulnerable beings and some even seem to enjoy it and people are only humans, after too much abuse you start breaking down, emotionally, mentally and physically.

I would seriously look into that, look at the reason why that person behaves the way they do, why their self-confidence and performance is down, why they,re breaking down, why they are ” loosing it”, why do they have constant stomach pains and not at the evident symptoms of an utterly sick and rotten society that makes people not even want to be here.

Love & Light
Aya

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