Posted by: Aya Thorgren | February 15, 2017

Dysfunctional Relationships

I was thinking about these strange relationship problems we have in our society which probably is a direct reflection of a dysfunctional culture at large.

The other night I read this psychologists column about this couple, the problem they had was that the man was indifferent…? I mean why on earth would you go into a relationship and act indifferent? Or this other couple where the woman was confused, the guy gets all involved but then takes a distance to think about it. Three times. The psychologist immediately answers, – Think about why you even consider taking someone back that does that to you. Or a woman that clearly says it straight out that she is going out with this older man for material security but she is not happy…well no wonder! Or the guy or parents that need to be right (or see a problem with his partners or their child’s spiritual life), when it’s your life and in all relationship you are totally allowed to have different opinions on things. My thought is…why even hang with someone that irritates you so much…? Why do you prefer the storm to the peace? Why do people strive for relationships when being solitary and meditate on things may be the better option?
Or what about this sister that abandons her two children with the grandmother, disappears, the brother takes care of her and the old woman brings up the grandchildren, when she gets sick he takes her everyday to the hospital and helps out in the house, but now the sister is back and when he works and she takes care of the mother, she mistreats her, and when the mother dies she throws her very own son that is a problematic kid and brother out on the streets…?

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The city life and industrialization separated a lot of old people from the young and into separate apartments and old people’s homes with a career hunting hard working parents in the middle juggling payments, intellectualizing daycare centers and a full hobby agenda with television and later on Internet causing stress and hyperactivity in the children and a full work related socialization agenda with very few hours enjoying the home which was the center point of the agricultural generations, where everyone in all ages collaborated doing what they could depending on the age creating a beautiful family unity and many many hours of joy. Where entire families and clans would get together to raise a roof while celebrating.

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People are going to need peace of mind to enter a relationship, a great grip on their emotions, know when to move on things and what, move like a team, and practice more understanding of the partners and his or her needs, it’s not all about what you want, or only to get safe sex when you need it, and it should certainly never be a competition. When I look at the odds of a relationship lasting right now, it’s amazing that people even try considering the psychological circumstances.

The relationships that last the longest or for life usually work together, they have some sort of passion that unites them and together they create.

Love & Light
Aya

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